Spikes And Stories

Scrum tips and agile insights from a Silicon Valley agile coach

Trust Is Consistency Over Time

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I can’t tell you how many times I heard LinkedIn’s former CEO Jeff Weiner echo these words.

Trust is consistency over time. There’s no shortcut for either.

It’s great advice whether we’re an aspiring or experienced leader. And I think it’s just as appropriate for coaches. Why? We don’t have this pesky thing called authority, which tempts managers to impose their solutions on others. Instead, we coaches are naturally curious and have a desire to bring awareness to those around us. And since we’ve previously talked about trust, let’s talk today about what consistency looks like and why it matters.

In 2016, researchers conducted a study to investigate the relationship between uncertainty and stress. In it, participants were asked to play a computer simulation where they would turn over rocks. They received a mild electric shock when a snake was found under a rock but received no shock when no snake was found. The results were astounding. I had imagined that those receiving the shock 100% of the time would be the most stressed, but that’s not what the study found. Instead, those shocked 50% of the time–those dealing with the highest amount of uncertainty–had the highest levels of stress.

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You Can Only Empower Yourself

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I find myself saying something often. It’s a thing implicitly taught to me as a Marine, but it wasn’t until years later that I heard it put to words:

An organization cannot empower you. You can only empower yourself.

Many times, it feels as if we’re waiting for our manager’s permission to explore a new space or to define a career path. But what’s stopping us from exploring it on our own, in our own way, and on our own terms? Consider the case of a team member or project manager who’s trying to get into Scrum Mastery. Or an engineer looking to become a manager.

Whatever it is, it’s our story to write. But what’s that look like? And how do we make this aspirational, cliche advice actionable? I think it starts simply.

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We Need More Unpolished Leaders

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I was getting breakfast with a colleague last week, and we were talking about leadership. Specifically we talked about polish. I told her that I preferred unpolished leaders; she disagreed.

For me, it’s examples like General Mattis that come to mind as an excellent and unpolished leader. I had the honor of serving under him and learned a great deal from him during my time in the Marine Corps. And I recall when he took some heat from the press for speaking from the heart. As I work through his book Call Sign Chaos, I think this quote sums up his leadership style:

When your Marines know you care about them, then you can speak bluntly when they disappoint you.

As my friend and I talked, it was obvious our definition of unpolished leadership wasn’t the same. Since then, I’ve been chewing on what to call it. Authentic leadership? Straightforwardness? Blunt and raw over verbose and fluffy? I’m sure many will tell me I’m describing servant leadership, but that term is so bloated that I prefer not to mention it. Maybe it would be easier if I just described what’s on my mind.

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Build Relationships By Asking About the Work

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We all want to build relationships when working with a new team, and in my previous post, I wrote about one technique to do so. Since I revisit this theme frequently, click here to find out ways to approach these conversations, and today we’ll add another to that list. Before we dive in though, a quick refresher on some fundamentals:

  • Sit with each team member individually and use this time to find out what motivates them.
  • Ask questions to appreciate their world and world view not to persuade them of yours.
  • This time about them–not you–so put your agenda aside.
  • Use this time to build a relationship, a rapport, and to build trust.

To build these relationships, the conversation begins simply. It begins by asking a question.

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